The Epic Tale of Sanosuke and Kaoru's Misadventure
by KenRik
Summary: AU. KK. A Rurouni Kenshin take on the ever beloved tale of the Sleeping Beauty. Story description inside. Fantasy/Adventure/Romance/Humor.


Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

Summary: KK. AU. Fantasy/Adventure/Humor/Romance. Kaoru accompanies Sanosuke in his quest to awaken the legendary sleeping beauty. After going through death-defying experiences, they finally reach her tower only to find a hitch in what they though was an already perfect plan.

Unedited.

Rated T for profanities.

* * *

The Tale of Sanosuke Sagara and Kaoru Kamiya

* * *

"Sanosuke, I swear." Kaoru heatedly said amidst clenched teeth as she managed to secure hold on another protruding rock. The strong wind howling towards them teased her long black hair. And now that they were taking their chances climbing up a great wall of a far greater castle, the gravity pulling them down was stronger and more apparent to say the least. "If we live through this, I will kill you."

Hanging by the wall above her, drenched in sweat and filled with grime, Sanosuke lightly laughed. His fiery hazel eyes glanced down measuring towards the pit awaiting their fall into its rocky currents.

"We will live through this." He managed to bit out, slipping a foot into a cramped opening at the old and vast wall for support. Then, managing to jump onto a higher point, one closer to the top, he shouted down at Kaoru. "And you will not kill me, darling."

"You will hail me!" He yelled to the abyss. Finally reaching the top with a victorious grunt as he took hand of the wall's crumbling ledge, he managed to land on its leveled ground with an echoing thud amidst the eerily silent vicinity. "Because, Jou-chan, I will wed the fairest beauty, the most beautiful princess of all realms! And I will have her kingdom, the greatest kingdom that has ever stood."

As the man on the ledge guffawed shamelessly, Kaoru, who remained stuck on the cliff, holding onto its rocks for dear life, gritted her teeth. She closed her eyes, letting a single tear of sweat cruise down the lid. She was trying to remain calm amidst the situation. In all honesty, now that Sanosuke was clear off the wall, her heart started racing in panic. Slowly, she tilted her head up. Her weary eyes squinted as she attempted to measure what she had yet to scale to reach the top. But as she did, amidst her caution, her left foot started slipping as the rock it rested on crumbled.

"Sanosuke!" She screamed in anger, distress, and exhaustion. "I do not fucking care! THROW ME THE ROPE!"

As if only realizing he had a companion with him, Sanosuke's eyes widened as they travelled to the dangling figure on the wall. Hastily, he fell on his knees and rummaged through his bag. And without a moment later, he threw a rope over the cliff and secured a location to hold on his comrade's weight. With her eyes trembling, Kaoru looked up and was hit square on the forehead by the rope she had knotted right before the climb. Instinctively, she released all hold on the wall and immediately latched onto the rope. And, unable to stop herself, she looked down, her eyes following the bits falling into the seemingly endless pit as she dangled by the wall.

"God, you're heavy!" The man from above bellowed. Scowling, Kaoru screeched as her head shot up, hurting her throat in the process.

"You bastard!" She cried, trying her best not to piss on her already soiled garments. "PULL ME UP! PULL ME UP!"

"To heavens, woman!" Sanosuke gritted, tightening his hold onto the rope. Steadily, he started pulling her up. "You claim you're an adventurer like any other men, yet you can't even climb a wall?"

At this, Kaoru could only bite her lip in frustration as she watched herself getting further and further away from the pit miles below. Sure, she thought to herself. She volunteered to accompany him, like a squire tending to his master's bidding. But she had no idea what the world was actually like. She was just a simple handmaiden, too cocky and too adventurous for her own good. But what could a lady do? She was sick of it, the life of a woman. She yearned for adventure, for battle, for glory. Had she been born differently, she could've been of more use to her king.

But no matter, there were other ways to prove one's self. And this was what she chose, an adventurous journey that lay in search of the nameless phantom beauty of the seven realms, the most handsome princess frozen in time.

The Sleeping Beauty.

When Kaoru landed on the ledge, she fell on her shaking knees. Cold sweat was dripping off the corners of her face as she looked at the kingdom before her. Everything within sight was pale and grey, truly, the image of stopped time.

"This is going to be my future kingdom." Sanosuke said, now in a lighter tone as he tied the rope on a post. "Ready?" He asked her, tugging on the cord to assure its hold was secure. "We're scaling down."

Warily, Kaoru eyed her comrade.

"Do you even know where we're headed?" She asked him, tiredly standing up. Sanosuke looked ahead into the kingdom before turning to answer her.

"It will be my kingdom. So, of course I know."

"Really?" Kaoru bit out. "Then where is the princess' tower?"

Sanosuke's eyes keened, turning to the foggy kingdom of ruins and weeds. Scratching his head, his lips curved into a calculating frown. Standing beside him, the raven haired girl frowned as well.

"You have lost us countless times before." She said, kind enough to remind him. "We can't afford to get lost in this doomed kingdom with dragons and other unheard of creatures, especially now that we've lost the last pack of rations."

"We?" Sanosuke repeated in disbelief, looking down at his companion. "You practically handed the supplies to the wolves. How is that my mistake as well?"

"You led us to them, you dimwit! We barely escaped them as it is!"

"What did you call me?"

"DIMWIT! You deaf as well?"

"You know what." Sanosuke told her with a sneer. "The only disgraceful characteristic you share with men is your foul mouth! Why couldn't you have gotten strength, wit, or intuition instead! God! I would've been better off without you!"

"OH REALLY?" Kaoru cried. "Let me remind your forgetful pea-sized brain that had it not been for me, you would've died on the first day! Who the hell eats rainbow colored mushrooms? WHO?"

"Well, I guess I am the numbskull." Sano sarcastically cooed. "So much more than the frail idiot girl who wanted to clean off pig shit at a swamp filled with gators!"

"WHY I OUGHT TO WRING YOUR NECK." Kaoru yelled in rage as she crouched, seriously thinking of attacking her companion. Sanosuke glared at her, then smirking, challenged her.

"LET'S SEE YOU TRY."

But before they could pummel each other, a shrill cry of an unknown monster echoed throughout the castle, freezing Sanosuke and Kaoru on spot. Undoubtedly, both now sweated in fright.

"We are idiots." Kaoru softly said after a few silent seconds. With the breeze as their only other companion, Sanosuke gulped, nodding.

"We are. We are idiots."

True enough, both were idiots. Expendable idiots the king had allowed to wander forth, to venture in search of a mythological princess from a mythological story. Nevertheless, the two self-proclaimed idiots had not known any better. As far as they knew, the tale of the sleeping beauty was undoubtedly true. And after all, they did just scale up the tremendous walls of the so called mythological castle, didn't they?

"We shouldn't have come." Kaoru cried, falling onto her weak knees in defeat. "We're tired and hungry. Even at our best, we can barely kill off a dragon!"

"Oh, shut up." Sanosuke managed to croak out, running a hand through his greasy hair in an attempt to pacify his racing heart. "We'll get through this. And after, our names will be remembered for all eternity."

With that, Kaoru and Sanosuke shared a smile, their faint hearts now growing resolute.

After planning their route, fighting tactics, and methods of evasion, they decided to set off first to the highest tower for the hand of the sleeping princess. Now within the castle proper itself, both were cautious in every single movement they made. Just like outside, the interior of the castle was dead silent. But instead of being frightened, after more than an hour of having nothing emerging from the shadows, Sanosuke started getting irritated.

"Where the hell are the monsters?" He cried when they finally reached the stairwell leading to the highest point of the castle. "Where the hell is the dragon? WHERE'S MY ACTION?"

"SHUT UP!" Kaoru hissed dangerously behind him. Carefully still, she followed behind Sanosuke who had started running up the stairs with his sword out of its sheath. As she trailed after the screaming man, she shook her head, deciding her partner had already lost his mind. Suddenly, her head turned. Her eyes sharpened as she keenly looked at the shadows behind her. She swore, right at that moment, that something was out there, waiting.

That was when it hit her.

Immediately, she craned her head to look for her comrade, only to curse, finding him floors above her. The idiot separated from her!

SHIT.

Suddenly, a rattling sound cried from behind her. She could only turn her head in horror, finding a scaly monster before her. Blindly, she pulled out her sword with her arms and silently prayed for a miracle. And as this was happening, Sanosuke had stopped, curiously staring before him where a huge wooden door with exquisite carvings stood.

"Wow." He couldn't help but utter in awe. This was it. He told himself, finding surety at the statues of deities around the closed room that he was standing before the sleeping princess' bedroom. Carefully, he opened the doors and pushed them aside. His breath hitched at the image before him. Unlike the outside of castle, the princess' bedroom was pristine, immaculate even. Never before had he seen such extensive furnishings in his life. Not even his king's quarters compared to this single room.

Now, to kiss the princess' lips and bid her nightmare and his' goodbye.

Slowly, savoring the moment, Sanosuke stepped towards the bed covered by white linen. Reaching out with a strong hand, he parted the drapes and upon casting his gaze towards the sleeping body, his eyes widened in shock. The pit of his stomach quenched uneasily as confusion stung his auburn eyes.

"What the hell." He couldn't help but utter in disbelief. He blinked and blinked, hoping the figure before him would change to who he needed it to be. Or, frankly, to the gender he needed it to be.

SHITSHITSHIT. Cried his mind in alarm. THE FUCKING PRINCESS IS A PRINCE.

Suddenly, the sleeping figure's eyes opened to reveal dazzling amber eyes, groggy from sleep. Sanosuke carefully backed away as the body turned his head, scanning the immediate vicinity. Then, inevitably, the amber eyes rested on him.

"Who are you?" He managed to ask in a hoarse voice, shifting underneath his covers for comfort. In front of him, Sanosuke gulped.

"Sleeping beauty?" He said questioningly in a croak. At this, the man's eyes widened, then glared, then fired up.

"Did you…" The man had started dangerously. "Did you…" But amidst the man's heightening anger, he couldn't seem to finish his sentence. Then, finally understanding him, Sanosuke puffed red and immediately told the reddening man.

"No! OF COURSE NOT!" He cried, flailing his arms. At this, the man with fiery red hair sighed in thanksgiving.

"Good heavens, why does this always happen?" The man cried, covering his weary eyes with his arm. "Sorry to burst your bubble, warrior, but this is not sleeping beauty's castle."

At this, Sanosuke gawked. His hardships, the near death experiences he had to go through to get to this point flashed before his eyes, as if mocking him.

"You can't be serious." He said in disbelief. "This is the RIGHT castle! It's dark and grey! Filled with shadows and ill objects! As said in the legends!"

"Yeah, yeah." The man on the bed sluggishly said. "That's only because of the party last night." Removing the arm on his eyes, he turned to the defeated man on his floor with a derogatory look. "Everyone's shit drunk."

Unable to stop himself, Sanosuke fell on all fours and screamed his lungs out to the heavens.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

After much yelling, Sanosuke curled into a ball of frustration on the carpeted floor of the room. The man on the bed, who had introduced himself as Kenshin Himura, the crowned prince of the kingdom, was seated on his bed, eyeing the poor man pitifully.

"You know, not that anyone has succeeded, I can tell you how to get to the sleeping princess from here."

This made Sanosuke suddenly get off the floor, ending up looking pleadingly into the eyes of the sleeping prince he had disturbed. His sudden attentiveness made Kenshin eye him warily.

"Okay, so write this down if you know how." He had started. "Past the back gates of my castle, you head west to the wailing forest. It's the middle of summer, but the wailing forest is ice cold. And the possibility of survival is less than dying. But nevertheless, it's the only route to take from this point."

As Kenshin reiterated what he's told a number of warriors in search of the princess who never managed to return, Sanosuke noted everything down as if the most of obedient ward of all time. Then suddenly, as the two indulged on the quest for the sleeping beauty, a sword covered with drying blue liquid slid into the room, clashing onto the master bed with a loud thud. The two men curiously turned their gaze from the sword to the door of the room.

Both gazes widened at the image standing by the frame of the door.

"I will kill you." Kaoru, the image standing by the door, gritted with fists clenched on both sides of her body. Her face was covered with the blue liquid as well. Her eyes were puffy. And her clothes shortened with more tears and scratches. "I will kill you."

She repeated. This time, her words sounded true. And her fiery blue eyes backed up this thought. Slowly, she made her way to her target, one man named Sanosuke Sagara who could only watched her in shock. Now that she was drenched in what he thought was monster's blood, she looked scary, the scary that could possibly kill him by tearing him to shreds. Stopping in front of the cowering man with the parchment and feather, Kaoru seethed as she looked down at him with an eye glinting in rage.

But before she could do anything to the man, she lost consciousness and ended up falling limp on the floor. At this, both men released a breath they unknowingly kept.

Kaoru woke up a few seconds later. Her eyes were blinded by light as she opened them, groaning then as she sat up.

"Where's the princess?" She coarsely asked Sanosuke. The man with auburn hair only shook his head gravely at her.

"Wrong tower." He told her bluntly. At this, Kaoru surprisingly sprung up and clawed Sanosuke.

"WRONG TOWER?" She yelled in frustration into his ear.

"Sadly, yes." Kenshin butted in. His eyes were smiling as they held Kaoru's questioning gaze.

"Who are you?" She hissed with a raise of her brow. Kenshin simply smiled at her as he finally stood up from his bed and knelt beside Kaoru.

"The prince." He told her dangerously as his face dawned closer into her scabbed one. "An angry prince who was busy sleeping after a night of drunkenness from celebrating a great victory, only to be disturbed by a warrior in search of a sleeping princess."

"In all honesty, I should have you both beheaded for trespassing by now."

At this, Kaoru's breath hitched. A single scared sweat dripped at the side of her face.

"Especially now that I see you've killed my little guards." He finished, noting the blue liquid on her body.

"I—I"

"But, don't worry." Kenshin continued mischievously with a glint on his eye. "I'm sure you can pay back the damage by marrying me." He told Kaoru, cupping her cheek and wiping off some of the dried blood with his thumb. Immediately, finally after her senses kicked in, she pushed Kenshin away and glared at him.

"I—Are you out of your mind?"

"Then, shall I accompany you?" He told her quickily, his tone suddenly changing. At this, Sanosuke's eyes balled.

"You will?" He couldn't help but utter, immediately chucking away the parchment with messy writings on his hand.

"Of course." Kenshin smiled. His eyes still not straying from Kaoru's blue orbs amidst directing his words to Sanosuke. "After all, it's not everyday you find a warrior in a beautiful woman. Rather hard for me to let this one go."

"You're funny." Kaoru suddenly gritted out. "You were just threatening us, and now you're saying I can just waltz away freely?"

"Don't you…" Kenshin asked her. "Want to waltz freely?" At this, Kaoru's eye twitched in irritation.

"You are insufferable."

"I know I am. That's why I keep winning wars." He sparingly told her with laughing eyes. Before him, Kaoru couldn't help but let a smile escape past her defenses, rendering the man with fiery red hair gleaming noticeably.

After the night, with Kaoru now bathed and dressed in expensive clothing, with Sanosuke grease-free and stomach-filled, Kenshin accompanied his one night guests to the back gate of his castle. Finally reaching their destination, Kenshin was first to step out of the carriage, holding out a helping hand for Kaoru. Then, taking her aside as Sanosuke tended to his bag of supplies, Kenshin told her with a genuine smile and a pair of glittering amber eyes.

"You look better without the grime and blood." He jokingly said. Cupping her cheek now has turned into a habit. In front of him, Kaoru blushed. "Are you sure you want to do this? I can give you a comfortable life if you stay right here with me. You don't have to prove yourself. You don't have to be a warrior."

Looking up at him, Kaoru shook her head warily.

"I have sworn to myself." She told him honestly with a smile. "This is something I must do. Now that the world has shown me it will continue aiding me until this quest is done, I can never falter as I've did in the past. Kenshin," She called his name sweetly, catching the man off guard. With his eyes widening before her and his cheeks lightly flushing as he eyed her smile, she continued to tell him. "I do not need comfort. I need strength to be able to help those who I left behind." And with this, she gently placed her hand on Kenshin's and tore his hold off the side of her face. "I don't know what you saw in me, but all I can see is this illusion of love you've garnered in your eyes."

As those words fell off her mouth, Kenshin suddenly took her chin and smashed his lips against hers.

"Saying a man is disillusioned," He started out raggedly after a while, his forehead resting on Kaoru's as they both panted for air. "Only makes him succumb more into such fantasies. Now," He laughed. "Look at what you've made me do."

"Now, it is absolutely impossible for me to part with you."

And that was how Kenshin Himura ended up travelling with the two smarter idiots on their journey to awaken the sleeping beauty. The journey that had lasted three years. And amidst those three years though, when the trio arrived at the castle, they found the princess awake and in bed with a younger man with spiky ebony hair and a rather snotty personality. Sanosuke tried killing the younger adult but failed because the princess had stopped him, crying as she proclaimed her love for the younger man. Due to this, an arrangement was settled, making Sanosuke Yahiko's, now treated as the kingdom's king, second in command. When this all happened though, Kenshin and Kaoru had mysteriously disappeared.

* * *

"I hate you." A voice bickered within the forest.

"What?" Another asked in a lighter and happier tone. "I'm sure you're just saying that."

"I am not." The woman continued biting out, not even sparing the man chasing after her a glance. "I do hate you."

"For what? For asking you to marry me for the hundredth time since we've met?"

At this, the woman faltered in her step, causing her to trip and fall amidst her sword and armor. Fighting back a few tears, she managed to look up at the man with scarlet hair finding his place beside her fallen figure.

"You know you want to marry me. So, just say so."

"I do not want to marry you." She kept up with her façade. "Stop putting words into my mouth."

"Then," Kenshin quirkily insinuated. "Shall I put my tongue instead?"

"GOD!" Kaoru screamed in finality. "There is no stopping you!"

"I should be saying that." He told her, pushing her down as he leaned on top of her. "Should I force myself onto you or will you just say yes, Kenshin, I have loved you all this time. While you were fighting the dragon, my heart prayed to the gods not to take you. When you were wounded, my tears and my love saved you. And yes, I will. I will gladly marry you and bear your children."

At this, Kaoru puffed red. And soon enough, she started pushing Kenshin off her. The man on top of her though, wouldn't even budge. Instead, he leaned even closer, only stopping until their noses touched.

"I'll ask you again. Ever since I laid eyes on you, my intentions never changed. You are a rare jewel. Many who know you see that in your eyes. But I see something far greater. I see my future clad in infinite happiness in your eyes, and your eyes alone. All I ask of you is to give me your heart, and I will return the happiness you give me tenfold."

Suddenly, beneath him, Kaoru started laughing after his proposal. Kenshin could only frown as she did.

"I was serious." He told her.

"I know. I know." Kaoru said amidst her laughter. Catching him off guard, she raised her hands and held the sides of his handsome face. And with mirth in her eyes, told him. "You really are insufferable, you know that?"

At this, Kenshin could only smile at her. Then, finally after a while, Kaoru uttered the words he was dying to hear. But before she could even finish her sentence, the handsome prince crashed his lips on hers. And as he kissed her, there was an unfaltering smile on his lips that never left him.


End file.
